Sunday, July 5, 2015

John Speaks

Well, after 5 years of blogging and 35 years of marriage, Kim finally asked me to say a few words.

Wedding Day

(Even after all these years of marriage, Kim still introduces me as her first husband). 

Once upon a time, I had her convinced that I looked like Brad Pitt. Then she got these glasses.

As you probably know already, I enjoy golf and cooking.  Kim tolerates both of these hobbies - especially the cooking. I mean, the girl can really pack it away!

Speaking of golf.  Oh, we weren't?  Well anyway ... one of my fondest golf memories was a round at McCahey’s Point in Ireland. I was paired with a couple of older Irish gents who initially called me Mr. Raines. Then John. Then Johnny. 

On the back nine, I shanked a 5-iron, got upset, and started to throw the offending club. Then one of the old guys puts a hand on my shoulder and says softly: Johnny, golf is like sex. You don’t have to be good at it to enjoy it. 

I’ve always remembered that and, since then, have never gotten angry on the course.

In case any of you are curious about Mister Kimbo Polo, here’s a helpful FAQ.

Q: What do you do while Kim is away?
A:  Try new recipes, take care of Doris, and play golf.

Q: What do you do while Kim is home? 
A: Try new recipes, take of Doris, and play golf.

Q: Do you plan to travel in the future?
A: Answer cloudy, ask again later.

Q: How do you feel about your wife being gone for months at a time? 
A: I miss her, of course. But I know she is having a blast, and that makes me happy.

Q: Do you really look like Brad Pitt? 
A: No, not at all. Brad Pitt looks like me.

Q: When will you retire? 
A: January! When that happens, I’ll have nothing to do ... and I can’t wait to get started!

Q: Anything else you'd like to say? 
A: Yeah. Hey - all you guys out there - BACK OFF! She’s taken!!!


  1. Ahhhhh...that's sweet! Good to hear from you John! This sounds like a match made in heaven!

  2. Very sweet! Welcome to Blogland, Johnny. Same rules apply! It is to enjoy. ;->

    Virtual hugs,


  3. I can see that you have a good sense of humor!

  4. I would think that after you retire you'd have time to try new recipes, take care of Doris, and golf.

  5. Nice post John, I'll look forward to your next one in five years.

  6. Maybe after you retire you will join Kim on a trip or two. Bigger RV or side by side Vans?

  7. John, loved your post! Looking forward to hearing more from you (when Kim lets you speak.)

  8. I see you and Kim have more in common than just your love of Doris; you are both very clever writers. Thanks for sharing. :)

  9. What a fun post loved it.


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